


the bigger picture

by runninohhoney



Category: Black Mirror (TV), Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, bless the multiple timelines shit, though that's a given bc how the time shit functions in the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 00:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20218708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runninohhoney/pseuds/runninohhoney
Summary: Colin always looks ready for him.





	the bigger picture

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is the bandersnatch fic you've already read multiple times and will read again anyway because, just like me, you just want stefan to catch a damn breath and get on with colin sometime. have fun!

This time, he chooses to accept the tablet on Colin’s finger. He remembers how fascinated he’d felt the first time he said no; when Colin had simply smiled, not a glimpse of remorse on his face as he reminded him yet again that he wasn't in control.

This time, Colin walks up to him. When Stefan looks up, the sunlight washes his muted expression as he puts his thumb on Stefan’s chin, and his jaw falls like he just pulled a goddamn level. Stefan doesn't break eye contact, but his stomach squirms when he feels Colin’s digit at the dead center of his tongue, pressing it for what it feels longer than necessary.

It's not a new path. It doesn't mean anything.

The acid trip goes as it has always gone. Stefan giggles and laughs and cackles and his fingers dip into the paintings and create art and the room feels so full of colors that it will explode and he follows the yellow trace Colin’s hair leaves behind him when he paces around the room.

Then there comes the point when Colin stops moving - his hair stops dripping gold and his eyes start to melt, instead - and grabs Stefan’s head, cradles it as it asks for understanding. He's not embarrassed to admit it now, but this - this is why he keeps coming back. Dr. Haynes doesn't touch him a lot, just some hand holding and a couple of pats on his arm out of pity, and his father does it even less. And sometimes he just needs this. Someone to hold his face and look at his eyes, someone to _hold _him.

Stefan reaches out, as always, but he doesn't touch. It just doesn't feel right.

There was a timeline - Stefan giggles now, thinking about it. There was a timeline where he had gotten on his knees, pulled down Colin’s pants, and was only met with a sly smile. “So you understand”, he had smiled, had _laughed_ as Stefan gave him the sloppiest blowjob Colin had ever gotten, probably. He didn't know what to do with his hands, let alone with his mouth, but Colin didn't say a thing when he slammed his bony elbows against his hips, when he forgot to cover his teeth, when he laughed breathlessly against the shaft of his dick.

What Colin did do, apart from coming in Stefan’s face, was to get a tender hand on his hair and look at him with a soft expression that really, truly made him forget about the consequences of this. When Stefan looked up and met Colin’s warm eyes, a single drop of come dripping from his chin, he felt like this could really be it. The right path.

But that would've meant that Colin was wrong, and he was always right. So seconds later Kitty stormed in the room, looking at the two shadows in their compromising position and she screamed, shouted words at them that Stefan didn't quite get because Colin gave him a smirk and pulled him to his feet before pushing him from the balcony.

Where did that get him? To the same place as always.

This time, when Colin asks him if he understands, he gets it. He really does. He lets a hand fall into his shoulder, another one on his neck, fast enough that Colin doesn't let go but slow enough that it means something, at least for now. He uses one hand to bring him to his face, meets him halfway with barely open lips.

He doesn't have the vastest experience when it comes to kissing, but he manages. At the end it's Colin the one who pulls him closer, gets his tongue on his mouth, makes the decision for him. They kiss and they kiss and they kiss, and maybe Stefan is chasing the sensation he'd felt that other night, Colin’s warm hand and warm eyes and warm come on him, a break from the pressure of making the right choice, of choosing the right path. He gets it now, too, when he backs down with numb lips and Colin’s sharp features look inexplicably soft, slowing down like they have all the time in the world (they do).

He brushes a thumb along his trembling cheekbone.

And then he smiles, the same way he's always done it.

“I like your style”, he says, and turns around towards the balcony.

Stefan licks his lips, allows himself to long for a second more of Colin’s hands on his waist and his face, and follows him. As always.


End file.
